Ever since my first club soccer game my dad told me to “keep my head in the game.” What? What does that even mean? Obviously I’m paying attention to the game, dad.

But recently his words have taken on whole new meaning.

While watching Pakistan play a Test match versus India recently I noticed something extremely important about the way the Pakistanis were playing. Always against the ropes, looking strained at best and ready to collapse at worst. Their batsmen, bowlers, fielders everyone seemed to be playing not to lose. Their heads weren’t in the game.

Being in the game is so much more than just running with the ball. It’s about actively thinking about what you need to do and how you’re going to do it. Taking time off mentally puts you at a huge disadvantage because it allows your opponent to get a step ahead of you. Keep yourself in the game at all times and it leaves your opponent with no room for error.

We’ve all heard Yogi Berra’s infamous quote that “90% of the game is half mental” and aside from some obvious delinquencies in fractions, he was on to something. Winning the game isn’t about just being physically superior, if it was Alex Rodriguez would have 5 titles by now, its about keeping yourself in a position to win.

The analogy works well in sports but how do you translate it to all other walks of life? School? Relationships?

Personally, I’ve always been afraid of failure. Opting to take the easy route (which most often means obscurity) in order to avoid criticism. But recently I’ve come to realize the limitations I impose on myself. My dad (yeah, he’s a smart guy) always told me to go and fail something. For most of my childhood I ignored that and instead protected myself from failure by keeping it simple - do well in school, avoid girls (so I don’t get rejected), and never really fully commit yourself so you always have a way out. But I don’t think I ever grew. If anything, college has given me ample opportunity to fail and I’ve accepted the invitation with open arms.

I’ve spent a lot of time this semester doing some self-reflection. Overall, the semester has been extremely inconsistent for me. One week I’m taking care of classes extremely well, the next I’m all about my friends. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to get all of my things taken care of at once. I feel as if I’ve fallen prey to the same defeatist attitude of Pakistani cricketers. I’m not playing to succeed but to just take care of what’s in front of me. If I have midterms coming up, that’s all I’m doing. If I feel alienated from friends, then thats where my attention goes. The problem is that it’s a rather circular process. As I compensate for last week, I’m setting myself up for a new round of issues for next week, and so on…

So if 90% of the game is half mental and I’m obviously thinking about things the wrong way, it can’t be going too well. But what is the right way? It always feels as if it’s easier to make the wrong decision because its the most appealing at the time. “Sleep in and skip lecture today? Sure, I’ll have more energy to work right after.” But it never seems to work quite how I planned.

I’ve talked about this off and on with a few friends, a lot of us seem to share the same sentiments but only a select few really know how to get things done. And I personally believe my troubles lie with how I view myself. After my first semester here I told myself it was okay not to do well because I’m an engineer and I’m taking hard classes. Holding myself to a lower standard has served to only limit the amount that I challenge myself. It’s given me the ability to tell myself to just play not to get out.

I think it’s time I got my head in the game.